Picture this: a family portrait | Chroniclers

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DANNY TIRE


My family took the easy way out – again.

We had our annual chance to do a professional portrait and decided to let (insist) son Gideon pose solo for the umpteenth time.

Oh, we’ve had three-person portraits before and every now and then I get an updated ‘shot’ for this column (amazing how editors can crop the Lance and Woolly Mammoth!), But this year , we ended up putting all our hopes on Gideon once again.

My wife and I are always committed to doing better next time, but we have an unfortunate Ko (dak) addiction going on.

Let’s face it: Curing a cold is only a little harder than having three or more people all available, all photogenic, all well dressed, all tanned and rested, all cooperative at once.

There is a reason why “Synchronized Looking Halfway Decent” cannot field enough competitors to be an official Olympic event.

Aristotle claimed that nature abhors a vacuum. Well, he doesn’t really like letting people create a treasured memory, either.

Mention an appointment for a session and Murphy’s Law kicks in, producing a spontaneous rash of forced overtime, hot flashes, nasal torrents, migraines, bloating, ineffective toothpicks, pimples , nervous tics, suicidal ice cream cones, whining, strands of hair apparently controlled by an Indian snake charmer, blinking eyes obviously trying to send a coded message revealing the plans for D-Day, big- parents whispering “DO YOU THINK WE ARE DONE TO TIP THIS FOREIGN PHOTOGRAPHER?” “, Etc.

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